Thursday, July 29, 2015
I didn’t get out of bed on Monday (fitbit said I walked less than 400 steps – bathroom breaks). Not a great way to start the week. I needed a mental health day and I work for myself – so I could take it. Curtains drawn, covers over my head, jammies on – 18 hours of sleep.
I had NO motivation at all. Just exhausted. It’s amazing how your emotional state can impact your physical self.
Depression just sucks
According to Radar Online (perhaps not the most reliable source), Robin Williams was sleeping 18 hours a day before he committed suicide. I believe it. I don’t know how people get through such deep depression and agony from separation, but they do; all the time. I just want to go to sleep and wake up in six months feeling better.
I’m eight weeks into this ‘experience’. (I’ve decided not to call it a nightmare any more – the negative language must go and ‘experience’ is benign enough.) For 8 weeks I’ve walked around like a zombie; crying, reading, sleeping, meditating, going to therapy, praying and sending S.O.S signals to my wonderful support group of friends via texts, emails and phone calls.
I’ve learned valuable lessons about shock, grief and coping with the agony of separation, abandonment and rejection. This is an emotional earthquake of epic proportion. Maybe my journey can help you…