Fast Forward – 2.5 Years – Be The Buffalo

It’s been a long time since my last post – almost 2.5 years to be exact!  And, I can truthfully say the deconstruction continued…I’ve been sleeping….a  long, numbing hibernation.

My advice:  Be the buffalo and face the storm.

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Most creatures are programmed to avoid pain and discomfort.  When a storm is coming, for example, cows run away from it.  The problem with that is – cows aren’t very fast runners.  Therefore the choice to run makes the storm (or the healing) last longer (and harder).

What buffalo do on the other hand is very unique for the animal kingdom. Buffalo wait for the clouds and chaos to reveal and turn and charge directly into it (the storm).  By running directly into the storm they run straight through it.  They feel it, perhaps with  more intensity, but in the end, they minimize the amount of pain and time and frustration they experience from that storm.

Divorce is one of the biggest storms you’ll face.

Continue reading “Fast Forward – 2.5 Years – Be The Buffalo”

There Are NO Coincidences – Incoming Divine Moments (Part 1)

There are NO COINCIDENCES!

Everything happens for a reason. I’ve chronicled these ‘divine moments’ in an effort to honor them – and me.  My world showed up for me – and I’m fully available to it all.  I hope these accounts inspire you to tune in, be still, open up and reach out.

My mother-in-law – to answer or not to answer, what a dilemma!

After 20 years of marriage I can truly say, my mother-in-law hasn’t liked me for 19 of the years.  She’s the ultimate ‘church lady’.  Stout, white hair, piercing blue eyes, reads the bible daily and quotes scripture like a grocery list. She can talk about anything and is positioned as the ‘spiritual leader’ of the family.

I’ve seen her dark side. I know her to be judgmental, snarky, close-minded and cold. I’ve struggled for many years to live in the warm place in her heart – the place she shows nearly everyone else. I could never wiggle in.  She shut me out – and I did the same.  For every action there’s an equal and opposite reaction – we were a dysfunction law of physics – and neither had the will or love to change the dance.

I NEVER answered whenever our caller ID indicated her number.

I’m not into small talk and she rarely showed interest in me or my life.  She liked to talk, and I didn’t want to listen. Her biblical platitudes wore me out…so I shut her out.

The night I received the text – I want to separate – from my husband, I was home alone. My kids, on a mission trip….my husband, somewhere over the Atlantic texting his intentions from 30K feet. I was in an emotional puddled; confused, scared and alone. OMG – after 20 years, my husband was leaving me!

P A N I C!!!

Continue reading “There Are NO Coincidences – Incoming Divine Moments (Part 1)”